My Otherkin Community Blog

I just realized that the story about how I awakened as a werefox has never been fully told or explained. I will have to go back pretty far to the very beginning. When I was younger, 12 or 13 I believe, I wanted to know what it was like to be a female so one day I sat on the bus and meditated and I guess I ended up creating the spirit of a girl about a year younger than me. She was fine young lady with fare skin and blond hair with deep green eyes. Her name was Sara and she was beautiful. She and I shared a body for close to a year or two before I was introduced to my brother’s friend Brent. Brent was a strange lad alright, but it turned out he knew a lot about the things I wanted to learn about. I wanted to learn about magick and spells and the occult. I had no idea what I was getting into. I had started to fall in love with Sara by now which was a big mistake. I soon learned that it is very difficult to love someone in your own body. At about 14 I began feeling very animal-like. My sixth sense was heightened and I was able to sense when danger was coming my way more easily. By 15 the animal characteristics had started to become more apparent in my personality. My animal instincts started to manifest into something that felt like a dog and a cat combined. One night I was sitting in Brent’s room and I was feeling very weak. I went to lay down downstairs but I had no idea that I was under spiritual attack by a demon. The demon attacked me and Sara, luckily we both survived. Only because of my guardian though did we survive. He gave his life for us and we thank him. While we were recovering from the attack Gaia spoke to me and told me that I had a fox. I soon learned of a another spirit inside me named Hefif Vulpes. He was the fox Gaia spoke of. I now know that he was a manifestation of one of my past lives. The demon told us he would be back in a week at 6 o’clock. Sure enough he showed up and Hefif sealed him to a pool of water which destroyed him. Later that year I was feeling really depressed and I had been sent to outpatient therapy. I soon realized there that in order to be happy I would have to collect the pieces of myself and fuse them to make myself whole again. Those pieces were Hefif and Sara. That night I did a ritual and fused us together to make who I am today. After that day I became an entirely new person. I was happier and more hard working and more successful. And that is my story.

Last weekend I was still feeling depressed about my ex breaking up with me. So I was hanging out with my mentor, a shape shifter, watching some TV at his house. Then, I thought of something: what if has something to do with my heart(in spiritual and emotional terms). So I put on my headphones and some relaxing music. First, I relaxed myself, meditated, and then journeyed to where my heart is. When I got there it was incredible! My heart was a giant red glowing mass of what looked like glass. I soon noticed that my heart was bound by four black chains which shifted between chain links and letters. As I got a little closer I could read the letters. They spelled out my ex’s name. Where the four chains overlapped was encased in what looked like concrete. I knew what I had to do. The next thing I knew, I had a rock hammer in my hand. I smiled and jumped on top of the heart and started to smash the concrete-like substance away. After what seemed like 5 minutes the last of it was gone. “Now for the chains.” I thought. I started swinging at the chains as hard as I could but they wouldn’t break. I rested for a bit and looked around. There was nothing but red mist around me. I sat there and thought about it. “Maybe if I use an incantation.” I thought. An incantation came to me instantly. “I now break these chains of love! By the powers both below and above!” I swung at the chains and they still didn’t break. I sat there upset wondering if I would be free. I cried out to Aphrodite and my familiar. They both appeared above me and said “You must do it yourself!” I was on my knees grasping my hammer. Suddenly a bunch of my friends appeared above me and started yelling “Come on! You can do it” I then saw my ex standing with them. He said “I want you to be safe.”(He broke up with me because he thought it was too dangerous for us to be together. He said he broke a pact and made a bunch of mean people angry). I screamed the chant again and swung the hammer as hard as I could. The chains shattered and fell to the ground below. After that, I awoke from my trance sweaty. Later I went back and gathered all the shards and melted them into a shiny black stone. I created a chest, opened it, and tossed the stone in. I was finally free. After I awoke again I felt happy; as if a great weight was lifted from my shoulders. Ever since then I have been free of the depression that it brought me.

Hello people! This post is to give a little background about me.

My name is Ryan and I am a werefox. I was christian for the first 12 years of my life but then I started stray. When the popular card game Pokemon was out I began to grow fond of the concept of the types of Pokemon and how they somewhat represented the elements. At about 9 I began writing poems and putting them into a different language. Little did I know that the poems doubled as spells. During 6th and 7th grade I found that I had the power to predict the future, very vaguely of course. Being christian, I knew that “god” frowned upon mediums and fortune tellers but I wondered why “god” would give me such a power.  Starting in the 7th grade I got into Magic The Gathering; a card game that presented the concept of having 5 elements. In about November of 8th grade our reading class was doing a research project and we could choose any topic we wanted. I wanted to do it on something related to the the 5 elements so I researched the 5 elements and came upon 2 concepts:

1. Eastern(earth, water, fire, metal, wood)

2. Western(earth, air, fire, water, spirit/ether)

I found that the western incorporated the pentagram more which for some reason I already knew what it was. It was a strange feeling like I had already seen it and knew about it before. Something inside me told me to stay away and at first I obeyed and did my research on Feng Shui and the eastern elements. Later in about February I liked Feng Shui so much that I bought a pendant with the five colors of the elements and a pentagram on it. Not soon after I decided to change my topic to the difference between Paganism, Wicca, and Satanism. I was now a Pagan. When I ordered my pendant my mother told me “Pagans believe in nature and multiple gods please dont get sucked into that.” I agreed at the time but soon after I, kept researching paganism, fascinated that their beliefs matched mine. They didnt believe in eternal punishment or heaven or hell they believed in reincarnation. All my life I had been afraid of going to hell and now I found a group of people who didnt even recognize its existence. Another thing I liked is that they shared my love for nature.  The christian god was, for lack of a better term, a dick. Even now I think back to when I was christian and I remember talking to god and i never heard him talk back to me and I compare it to now when I talk to my Gods and friends in the spirit world they always answer in a kind, loving voice. I didnt find out that I was a werefox until I was 15. I then found out later that I was gay(more on that in another blog). That is everything I suppose.;)

this poem is about my ex because the full moon was special to us.

somewhere out there he cries tonight
as the full moon shines so bright
somewhere he lays there in his bed
as memories of love go through his head
somewhere he wonders why
he sits here…and cries