So low lately..

Posted on January 20th, 2010 by Nanara.
Categories: Uncategorized.

Sorry it’s been so long since I last put up a post.  My LJ account just sort of swallowed it whole.  Besides I’ve had a lot of real personal shit going on for the last few months that really shouldn’t be aired on a publicly accessible blog.

Well, I did it.  I resigned my post as a moderator on OKC.  And I’m going to do my darnedest to stay resigned.  Though, we’ll see my resolve when the next drama arrives.  Lol. The decision has made me incredibly sad.  But, it’s either this or leave OKC altogether… so it’s the lesser of two evils.  I just hope this works to ease my stress and upset.  Because if it doesn’t and I still feel like this… I don’t know what I’m going to do.  I don’t know if I could turn my back on my friends, the community and Clody, Eternity, Yakshini and Loh.  Could I just walk away?  After all that I’ve experienced, learnt and done with OKC?  I think it would completely break my heart if I did.  If I do get the super dooper rich and famous sci fi dream I’ve been fighting to get for nearly twenty years I may still have to.  A twenty year old dream unfortunately trumps a three year old family… or perhaps not… perhaps if I get it I can balance the two.  Just as long as not too many people find out about my involvement in OKC… then we’d get inundated with fans and crap… or people’d think I’m fraking nuts and stop reading my shit.  Neither would be good.

Though… the way I’ve been feeling lately… I wonder if anything I want in life is going to happen.. no matter how hard I work at it.

Anyway… just deleted a huge rant… now I’m going to bed.  Feeling depressed, unloved and unwanted.   Hopefully I wake up feeling better.

8 comments.

Wraith

Comment on February 1st, 2010.

If you haven’t figured it out by now, I shall tell you quite bluntly.

You have gotten this far.

You have basically forcefully changed yourself from an unsure, broken person into a strong, determined-as-hell, and healed individual. You’ve already taken all the possible steps to get your 20-year-old dream published.

And if you’ve gotten this far, you sure as hell can go further and fulfill your dreams.

And as for the OKC, I can only tell you what I’ve said before. The only one expecting you to bend over backwards for a community that may or may not appreciate your efforts is you. Everyone else now has enough experience under their belts to keep the place running. If you need to lay low, permanently, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. At all.

Nanara

Comment on February 21st, 2010.

:3
<3

tom

Comment on February 27th, 2010.

hii

i’m a sci fi reader and recentky have interest in the otherkin topic , as a reaser i can tell you you have more to fear bored fans then ones that thing you are nuts.

“raking nuts and stop reading my shit” i never heard anyone stop reading a nice bood because they doubt the author sanity.

it get people more interested rather then less. (if the works were worth the attention in the first place).

i hope what you wrote is exeptional , sci fi the last few years suffered loss of its attractivness.

i saw that you are from new zealand , i used to have same distorted knowlge of geography at same point (but i had a globe to fix it)
http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread543455/pg1

Tsukikage

Comment on March 4th, 2010.

*huggz teh ‘Ara*

I know it has been over a month since you posted this. I hope you are feeling much better at this point, now that some time has passed. I am sorry to hear, though, that it ended up like this, but I agree with Wraith: You’ve come this far, and damn it all you can make it farther. You’ve got the talent and the passion for writing and imagery. i believe you will be able to make it far, despite any affiliations. I seriously doubt being a part of OKC will hinder you at all, so I wouldn’t let it bother you.

I will say that I am proud of your decision to step down at OKC. Not because I think you should, but that you made such a hard choice like that. I know how much that must have hurt… maybe it still is? Still, though, do what you think and feel is best. That is the best way to approach any situation, I think. :3

If you need/want to talk, hit me up via email or IM or something. I miss talking to you guys and would love to chat again, that I would. ^.^ Take carez.

*huggle meeps*

I

Caelii

Comment on June 9th, 2011.

Hey, that post leaves me feeling foolsih. Kudos to you!

Retta

Comment on June 10th, 2011.

I’m out of laegue here. Too much brain power on display!

uujniqevh

Comment on June 10th, 2011.

wYRkg4 qdjjxfoigciw

xbnzuvesf

Comment on June 13th, 2011.

YHIdbn xqimwioxixhr

Leave a comment

Comments can contain some xhtml. Names and emails are required (emails aren't displayed), url's are optional.




Hosted by The Otherkin Community