Nanara

Dreamy dream…

Posted on April 5th, 2009 by Nanara.
Categories: Uncategorized.

I’ve lost a lot of it.. but last night I had a big long dream that had a lot of impact on me.

So… the dream started out as me being some kind of spiritual investigator.  I guess it was kind like a less organised sort of Torchwood person.. I was with a group of other folks who were psychic or knowledgable about things like entities and demonic creatures and stuff.  And I was the witchy psychic person who went around and did much of the banishings and the like.  Anyway, me and another guy discovered something really odd.  There was an ancient writing about a time in the not-too-distant future where a powerful witch would be possessed by a demonic force, taken as a bride of a physical demonic creature and would bring in the end of days or something similar.  and this odd prophecy described me as the bride.  We checked and re-checked and researched a lot more, but it seemed to describe me.  So… I didn’t really want to be taken over by a demonic force, and my friend was also sort of a romantic interest and HE didn’t want me to be taken by this demonic force so together we split off or went dark from our formal group (we knew if they discovered this they’d lock me up in the dungeon for the rest of my natural life and we wanted a chance to stop it before that was an option) and went hunting for a solution.

Anyway… we ran out of time.  The only thing new we discovered was that the demonic force that was supposed to take me over was actually my true self… like… the nice friendly person that he and I knew was the fake mask, that my true self, my true nature was this demonic creature/force.  And as we were searching for a way to stop me being taken by this other demonic creature/ritual/thing I started to turn.

The turning started by me falling over and fainting.  Like suddenly I’d been injected by a powerful tranquelizor or something and I just dropped to the ground and was unconscious for a short while.  When I woke up I’d changed.  I was still acting like the me we both were familiar with but I was deliberately putting this forward so as to not frighten him because I’d changed underneath, in my unconsciousness that lock inside me had broken and I became who I really was.  What frightened me at first was that I really wanted to be taken by this other creature, that it was actually like my soul mate, like this other demonic creature that I was supposed to be taken as a bride to was someone I wanted and it was going to be consensual.

I lead my friend to a source that stated if I didn’t go to the ritual and perform it I would die… it was a lie, I knew it was a lie, but I couldn’t stop myself from lying to him because I wanted him to come with me.  Much of my turning after I fainted was around converting my emotions to be less human.  We were walking towards the ritual (it was at some big abandonned airstrip and it was huge), and I knew that if he followed me any further he was going to die.. but I didn’t say anything, I didn’t want him to die, but at the same time I also didn’t actually care, I felt almost like I was conflicting with my previous emotions for this guy and that I knew he’d make a great toy for some of my fellow demonic creatures before he died.  I was almost of the mind that if he was stupid enough to trust me even though he’d already realised that I was fully demonic by this time.. it was his own stupidity that would cause his death.  I gave him one chance to back off, at the gates to the place I said to him that he should probably leave me to go on alone.  and he … the silly heroic numbnut said he didn’t care if he died he didn’t want me doing this alone… and walked into the area with me.

The ritual was many concentric circles that were drawn in lines around a central circle which had grown this oddly knarled tree in the middle of the concrete.  He tried to light the circles (they were done in kerosene), but they went out again.  He took me to the centre and told me that I could go out again with him.  I said no.  I said that this was what I wanted.  And then I somehow lit all the kerosene circles with a thought.  He didn’t realise that I’d fully turned by this time, if anything had been left of my original personality I would have said  for him to run really hard at that point and he could perhaps survive what would come.  But.. I thought it but didn’t do it.  I almost wanted to hear his screams as the servant creatures ripped him apart… I was the only thing stopping them from doing it.  I walked into this knarled tree and there were three levels of small rooms inside it.  Below the ground level was a stair leading down to a toilet, and I went down there to pee.. but I sat on this wooden toilet and watched as the walls weaved and pulsed around me and I loved it.  He was outside the door yelling in terror because the whole tree was doing this strange pulsing twisting thing, and the walls were red like blood or meat.  I got out of the toilet and walked up the steps with him.  I told him I had to go up to the top level and meet my fate.  He begged me not to, he begged me to remember who I used to be, the person that he fell in love with (even though we weren’t together).  I said to him “That person was a lie.  This is the real me.”  And at that point he finally understood his mistake and he was terrified.  He ran away from me and was chased up the big chunk of broken concrete away from the tree by the other hunting creatures, and I listened in glee as I heard them catch up and start ripping his arms and legs off and screaming in agony.  Then I started up the stairs to the top floor where my lover was waiting for me.  The ritual needed a human blood sacrefice, and I’d known this all along which was why I’d taken my ex-friend with me on the journey, and as I walked slowly up this spiral staircase that moved and pulsed like meat I realised that I’d played everyone and everything around me to be there at that time, that I’d always been aware of what I was and who I was and what I’d been travelling towards.

And I woke up before I got to the top of the stairs.  I woke up really really horny and… kind of… I don’t know.. dark and mischevious.  I still feel that darkness now in the back of my head and it’s nearly bedtime again.

I’m certainly not saying that I’m what I dreampt about… but it does make me wonder that perhaps all that goes on in my life could be a plan of my true self… like a game… part of a bigger plan… *shrug*  It was just overly vivid.  And I even remember when I was sitting in the little toilet and looking meliciously at the walls moving I remember thinking I wish I could show wraithy this place.. that she’d love a tree made of moving bleeding flesh to live in.. lol… very odd.

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